Patricia Mack, Chapel of Divina
Providencia where Romero was killed |
When I came back, I was agitated and felt a profound sadness. Here I was back into the world of excess. The first week home I was getting ready for a baby shower of my first grandchild. It was difficult to see the extravagance. I kept thinking about what Ann could do with this money with her soy project or how this could be used for at the Contra Sida clinic. It was difficult to communicate this to my family; this is not what they signed up for. I felt caught between two worlds– not really fitting in either.
After much prayer, reading, and discernment, I have decided to embrace this unknown. I know that I am halfway between the world I have lived in all my life and the life that I have not yet embarked upon. I am fueled by the knowledge and awareness that was gleaned on this trip.
As I continue with the ministries that I have chosen to participate since retirement, I definitely feel the influence of my El Salvador trip. Whether I am giving communion or serving meals to the homeless, I now recognize that each person has a story to share, and I pray that they have an opportunity to feel the love of Christ as they are being fed. Listening to the stories of Jose and Edwin has helped me in my ministry at Bethlehem House. For it is there that I meet many immigrant mothers. I am far more aware of the difficulties they face each day as they live in this country that is oftentimes unwelcoming. I also can relate to the moms who don’t speak the native language and understand how unsettling and isolating that can be. Still another awareness brought to the forefront occurred with my hospice work. Spending time with my hospice patient before his death allowed me to see that having great material wealth does not help us at the end. It brought back images of Sister Ann Beatriz and her community project. Here were women with so little possessions, but so rich with that sense of fellowship.
I felt that wisdom garnered from this trip was most impactful when working with my Confirmation students. Here were beautiful sixteen and seventeen year olds filled with such promise and hope for our future. I was able to tell them of El Salvador and tried to instill in them the desire to open their hearts. I showed them “the center-fold” of the Maryknoll Magazine from November/December. There was the picture of Javier reunited with his four year old son after being separated from him at the U.S. border in Texas. We talked about the power that they have in forming a new world based on the Gospel message.
I would be remiss if I didn’t also include the personal growth that occurred being part of this eclectic
At the site where the Church Women were killed |
Discovering a new inner strength emerged. When Jose and Edwin honestly and courageously shared their stories, I so wanted to run out of that room. The pain that they were feeling was so palpable. I didn’t want to feel it so deeply; it stirred emotions that were dormant within me. I made it through and understood that Christ is in our midst even in our darkest moments. He is there to hold us and support us. He provides us with people to keep us from running away.
So why take part an immersion trip? The answer for me is best stated in a quote by Anne Lamott from her book Stitches:
“Every time we choose the good action or response, the decent, the valuable, it builds, incrementally to renewal, resurrection, the place of newness, freedom and justice.”I pray, that when the opportunity arises, just like they did for all those who I witnessed on this amazing journey, I say “yes” to the good action or response.
Patricia Mack
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